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Please feel free to write whatever thoughts you may have. ESPECIALLY, please feel free to reply to those messages where you might be able to offer some help or just because you feel a connection. You can do it on the board or you might want to email that person directly. It is up to you and I truly appreciate it.
Big hugs, Julane

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Re: My beautiful daughter

First like the other 5 million people that will have already said, Im so very sorry for what youve been through.... and Im sorry I didnt read this before. Ive never been on a forum before but had to reply. Your experience sounds unbearble, I would like to say I cant imagine how youre holding it together but I wouldnt imagine youve got much choice. How old are your other children/child?
My situations very different to yours but I feel like actually smashing things I get so angry!!(i havent..yet!)
My little girl, Molly, died on 31st July. She was the brightest, most beautifully natured baby you could have the fortune to have met. She was my angel even then. Weve had totally different circumstances to yours. Molly was nearly 10 months old and had leukaemia, with which shed been diagnosed at 6 months. she was on horribly intensive chemo for three months but we were waiting for her to have a bone marrow transplant which should be in process right now. Her three year old brother was a perfect bone marrow donor match which is quite unusual and which we were over the moon about.She was given a good prognosis originally but her little body just couldnt handle the chemo, she died a not nice death, but in my arms for the last few minutes off the ventilator anyway.
My two other children, 3 and 4 year old boys . Like you I feel so angry, different reasons maybe but that rage is like something I didnt even know i had in me. I want my girl back its not fair, Im supposed to have a daughter!! Im supposed to have a baby!i just wanna scream and scream but Ive got to hold it together, put the washing away, make tea and all the rest of it when I just want to scream at people, cant you see, my daughter is dead and you want tea!!!
Sorry, bit of a rant, but I know the rage. And the situation couldnt be more different but I blame all sorts of people including myself. You just search for an answer dont you and the only answer Id be happy with right now is ok, its a mistake, theres new technology and we can bring her back to you!!!my three year old the other day was trying to dig her up and I can relate to that, lets just say that!!!
I dont know what to do myself so i dont know what i can say except i understand your pain more than you know. I hope youre ok today, deep breaths, so much love from another broken stranger xxxxxx

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