An 18 year old Spanish girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, 'Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!'


The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of a Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: 'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.

I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach-front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?'
At this point, the father, who had remained silent holding a shot gun, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him.
'You gonna try again'.

Good one Sage

BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.

A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went..

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, 'Is something wrong'

To which she replied, 'There certainly is!'


(Are you ready for this?)

' My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!'

A duck walks into a bar and says to the barman "Got any bread?"
The barman says "No, sorry".
The duck looks at him and says "Got any bread?"
The barman says "No we haven't, sorry".
The duck looks up at him and says "Got any bread?"
The barman sighs and says "I've told you twice now, NO".
The duck looks at him and says "Got any bread?"
The barman has had a pantsful of this by now and says to the duck "Look mate, if you ask me for bread again....I'll nail your beak to the floor".
The duck looks at him and says "Got any nails?"
The barman shrieks at him "NO WE BLOOMIN' HAVEN'T!"
The duck looks up at him and says "Got any bread?".........

rabbit goes in a bar and says do yo do food the barman says only tosted sandwiches
the rabbit orders ham and cheese
he goes in the next day and orders sausage
then the 3rd day and orders cheese and tomato
this continues for a week everyday a different tosted sandwich
on the last visit the rabits ghost walks in
the barman says YOUR DEAD the rabbit replies
yes i think its MIXINMATOSTIES

Excellent!! Made my day!! Or should I say evening

yr welcome