Salou Forum
An older, white haired man walked into a jewellery store one Friday evening with a beautiful young girl at his side.
He told the jeweller he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a £5,000 ring. The old man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'
At that statement, the jeweller went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only £40,000' the jeweller said.
The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'
The jeweller asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, 'by cheque. I know you need to make sure my cheque is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon,' he said.
Monday morning, the jeweller phoned the old man.
'There's no money in that account.'
'I know,' said the old man, 'But let me tell you about my weekend!' 
A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Patel about enlarging her tiny breasts. Dr. Patel advised her, "Every day after your shower rub your chest and say, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies."
She did this faithfully for several months and it worked! She grew terrific D-cup boobs!
One morning she was running late, got on the bus and in a panic realized she had forgotten her morning ritual. Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't recite the little rhyme, she stood right there in the middle aisle of the bus closed her eyes and said, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies."
A guy sitting nearby looked at her, "By any chance, are you a patient of Dr. Patel's?"
"Why, yes I am... How did you know?"
He leaned closer, winked and whispered, " Hickory dickory dock..." 
A wife was standing in front of her mirror, naked after taking a shower. He husband was already in bed, and sat and watched her. Eventually, she turned to her husband and said 'I really want a breast implant job...my breasts are too small'. her husband said 'Oh, I know a cure that is almost free..just take a handful of toilet paper, and rub it between your breasts twice a day'. His wife looked at him in askance, and said 'what makes you think that would work?'. Husband says 'well it did for your ass!
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. They find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates, waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.
While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter shows up, they ask him.
St. Peter says, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked that. Let me go and find out,' and he leaves.
The couple sit and wait, and wait. Two months pass and the couple is still waiting. As they wait, they discuss that if they were allowed to get married in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all. 'What if it doesn't work?' they wondered. 'Are we stuck together forever?'
After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. 'Yes,' he informs the couple,
'you can get married in Heaven.'
'Great!' says the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Can we also get a divorce in Heaven?'
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slams his clipboard onto the ground.
'What's wrong?' ask the frightened couple.
'OH, COME ON!' St. Peter shouts, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?'
where on earth do you two guys get these jokes from,
i could not stop laughing, i had to show them to the lads in work,BRILLIANT!
